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That is THE goal at our events!


It shouldn't have to be said, but respect other's rights to have fun, be polite, be fun, don't try to be an issue.


There is no way we can cover everything on our website, or even when we get together at our event.  If you have a question, ask around or find a hostess and ask.


This is something that is very personal to a lot of our guests.  If someone presents as male, refer to them as such.  If someone presents as female, refer to them as such.  If you're unsure, introduce yourself and deduce for yourself how to proceed.  If you MUST ask, be tactful, a great way to get this information is an introduction such as "Hi, I'm Jane, my pronouns are She/Her." They will usually respond in kind.


Don't just go taking pictures nilly-willy, this makes some people nervous.  Some, because they have a lot on the line personally, others, because they just don't like cameras.  If you are out and about and want to take pictures, please be mindful of whom you are capturing in the shot.


It is like being in a bar; be very careful about who you talk to about anything relating to any of these three categories.  We have guests from all over the world and are in the middle of NFL, NCAA, sports everything, the nastiest political races in recent history, and various religious holidays... you are here for a good time, and so is everyone else... let's keep it that way instead of having hurt feelings and anger erupt in the middle of our collective serenity.


The Aloft Hotel Quail Springs is relatively safe, especially in regards to sexual and gender identity, however, you can never be too safe.  Remember, as a woman it is important to take the little precautions like watching your drink; if you have to leave it, ask a friend to watch it for you.  If there is ever a situation that develops that raises your suspicions, say something to a friend, a hostess, or security.

Hotel security circulates around the property so they are never far away, however, when going to your room, have your room key in your hand to minimize the time standing in front of your door. Keep the curtains closed unless you seek attention from passersby.  Many of our guests were raised as males and were never taught these things, but as women, the risk of harm is very real.

If you want an escort to the Pajama Party please find Lindsay or Hanna at the event, email us here, or sign up at the Sign-In table at the lobby.


If you don't, you  will have a hard time with Rule #1.  All of us have social anxiety to one degree or another, and we share the same fears, so all of us can relate to that... do not let the fear of the unknown rule you while at our events. Remember, nobody here knows you from "back home", and everyone will treat you as you.  As long as you relax, smile, and chat... you will have a great time!

9. Plus 1s

Feel free to bring friends, significant others, etc., with you, as long as they are respectful to transgender people. You are responsible for their behavior, and they will be expected to follow the rules like everyone else.

10. 18+ Up

The new venue is friendly to all ages, however our event has activities that are sometimes more adult than we care to have little ones running around (like alcohol).  ...besides, sometimes it can be VERY difficult to make Rule #8 happen without following Rule #10!

11. Smoking

The Aloft Hotel Quail Springs has specific outside areas for smoking marked on your maps given to you at Sign In.  Please, if you intend to light anything on fire with the intent to inhale, do it here.

If you have your OMMA card this would be an acceptable place to do that discretely.

12. Dresscode

We ask that you use YOUR discretion so we don't have to use OURS.  There is a time and a place for everything, and from prom dresses to negliges we have provided these times and places.  Understand that if we feel the need to say something, our primary concern is ALWAYS the wellbeing of the group and events, present and future.

Additionally we specifically request that you wear a robe that you cannot see through to the pajama party. 

OUR REQUESTS OF YOU (requests aren't rules)

1. Clean up

Imagine being the hotel staff for a minute, would you be feeling excited about a group our size coming in if we left the place in shambles?  Little things go a long way, stack your plates when the server comes to get them, don't leave towels strung out all over your room when you leave, throw your trash away.  In short, be a lady.

If you're hanging around Sunday afternoon, we would love a hand packing up any decor we have put up!

2. Keep Your Dollar Local

This is our first time here, they don't know what we bring.  When it comes time for us to negotiate for things like comped spaces or reduced room rates, one of the biggest things we bring to the table is our dollars.  To this end, we ask that you try to keep your business at our host's facilities as much as possible.  When we exceed their expectations in this regard, they will raise them, and they will help us grow further by providing us with the things we need to become even more fabulous.

3. Check In at the Table

Some of you arrive on Monday, some on Friday, or even Saturday.  In years past we have chased people down, searching for people who have not signed the Sign-In book.  That became someone's full time job at the event.  We ask that you check in at the Sign In table at the lobby so you can get your information packet and sign the book.  Sign In table opens on Friday.

4. Participate

Remember why you came!  You came to be around like minded, accepting people.  If you hide in your room, you can't be around like minded, accepting people.  All of our guests are here for the same thing, so they are generally friendly.  You will find that they welcome first time attendees with the same open arms as they do people they've known for 15 years.  If there's an activity that you want to participate in, please take that leap and participate!  Worst case scenario is usually that you look silly and have a good time doing it!

5. Suggest

In your welcome packet you will find a blank piece of paper.  On it you are welcome to make any suggestions you'd like.  We aim to please, but we need to know what you want.  These slips can be returned to the welcome desk, you are not required to sign them.

6. Report

If you have a problem, with the venue, with a person, with anything at all, report it immediately to a hostess.  Most things can be resolved quickly, and the things that cannot will be addressed before the next event.  If something negative happens to you, you may not be the first one, but if nobody says anything, the Leadership Team knows nothing.

7. Tip

Whether its the bands or the wait staff, we ask that you please tip.  They always get a pittance of what they are worth to us, and without them, we would all be stuck listening to the radio and eating potato chips out of the vending machine.

8. Respect

Respect yourself, respect the other guests, respect the facility.  This is Oklahoma, we still take "honor culture" seriously, people take respect seriously.

Respect yourself: You are not trash, you are not a freak, you are not worthy of hate.  Do not be or dress trashy. You are a person, worthy of love, so embrace yourself in this space and love yourself for it.

Respect other guests: It's the little things.  Sometimes in some places our guests still have to deal with being looked down upon for who they are, help lift them up.  Be sensitive to the little things like pronouns. Remember, your right to swing your fist ends at my nose.

Respect the facility: This is not a trashy, dirty venue.  It is clean, newly remodeled, and beautiful.  We feel that a clean, respectable venue is appropriate for our attendees.  Please do not litter, and please follow their rules as well as common sense.  If you feel you are unsure about the rules or running a little short on common sense, find someone to ask.  You deserve this space, lets keep it nice.

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